After tutoring for a few years I have to agree with you.
I worked at a Kumon center, which was an "enrichment" program for both poorly-performing kids needing help with math and reading but also very smart kids trying to get (sometimes far) ahead[1] in their math and reading skills.
I learned two things: First, you can explain anything to almost all kids, but there are a lot of different ways about thinking about numbers and the way their teacher taught them may not be a good way for any particular kid.
I had some kids who would just seem "blocked" when faced with a math problem like 48x12 (usually larger than that), putting the numbers one above the other and trying to do multiplication the way the teacher taught them. I'd play around with the numbers in front of them, show them that every number is really a bunch of other numbers just expressed in a different way. I could show them that 48x12 was really just 48x10 plus 48x2, which are 480 plus 96, which just makes 576 just-like-that.
Some kids would be blown away that numbers were not these final static things but really figures that could be represented so many different ways. For a lot of them just kind of "exploring" what it means to be a number helped a lot more than making them crunch problems the way their teachers told them to, and once they got that numbers were these very liquid things they seemed to do a lot better.
The second thing I learned is that nothing fucking matters except motivation. If the kid's not motivated it's nigh impossible, and if he is the job is a dream and tutoring becomes practically as pleasing as a musical song and dance.
There's only one thing I was able to figure out about motivation: You can't teach someone to be motivated by lecturing them on the importance of being good at math or reading or threatening them (as parents sometimes did in front of me) or calling them lazy. The only thing that mattered was that I was visibly motivated and excited about the material, always happy and buzzing around them. The only way I could impart motivation was by realizing that it was contagious. There's a quote I sometimes parrot on here that more or less relates to the phenomenon:
"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." -Antoine De Saint-Exupery
And it looks like I've gone on and on and forgot what I really meant to say here (other than I agree). Ah well.
[1] Rather, their parents were trying to get them ahead.
"I could show them that 48x12 was really just 48x10 plus 48x2, which are 480 plus 96, which just makes 576 just-like-that."
I learned this lesson on my own, and was chastised for it while young. "That's not how you learn multiplication!" And so forth.
It was only (much) later until I saw Feynman's infamous videos where he denounced how the subject of Algebra was taught, and it made me feel a lot better about how I went about learning - and how I will teach my son. Or rather, lack of teaching.
I couldn't agree more - motivation is everything! I love that quote. Another to add: "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." - Helen Keller
I worked at a Kumon center, which was an "enrichment" program for both poorly-performing kids needing help with math and reading but also very smart kids trying to get (sometimes far) ahead[1] in their math and reading skills.
I learned two things: First, you can explain anything to almost all kids, but there are a lot of different ways about thinking about numbers and the way their teacher taught them may not be a good way for any particular kid.
I had some kids who would just seem "blocked" when faced with a math problem like 48x12 (usually larger than that), putting the numbers one above the other and trying to do multiplication the way the teacher taught them. I'd play around with the numbers in front of them, show them that every number is really a bunch of other numbers just expressed in a different way. I could show them that 48x12 was really just 48x10 plus 48x2, which are 480 plus 96, which just makes 576 just-like-that.
Some kids would be blown away that numbers were not these final static things but really figures that could be represented so many different ways. For a lot of them just kind of "exploring" what it means to be a number helped a lot more than making them crunch problems the way their teachers told them to, and once they got that numbers were these very liquid things they seemed to do a lot better.
The second thing I learned is that nothing fucking matters except motivation. If the kid's not motivated it's nigh impossible, and if he is the job is a dream and tutoring becomes practically as pleasing as a musical song and dance.
There's only one thing I was able to figure out about motivation: You can't teach someone to be motivated by lecturing them on the importance of being good at math or reading or threatening them (as parents sometimes did in front of me) or calling them lazy. The only thing that mattered was that I was visibly motivated and excited about the material, always happy and buzzing around them. The only way I could impart motivation was by realizing that it was contagious. There's a quote I sometimes parrot on here that more or less relates to the phenomenon:
"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." -Antoine De Saint-Exupery
And it looks like I've gone on and on and forgot what I really meant to say here (other than I agree). Ah well.
[1] Rather, their parents were trying to get them ahead.